It is so difficult to put into words the intense emotions that come with being a mother. I feel like I am constantly on a roller coaster vacillating between the most difficult, painful emotions and then the most incredible, joyous ones. Before becoming a mother, I never knew such intense guilt, worry, hurt, joy, pride and love could ever be a part of my being.
I always thought I would know it all and have everything figured out so I could be the best mom one day. Oh I was so naive. Nothing has humbled me more and helped me realize how much I have left to go than raising these three wonderful children. I am grateful every single day for the lessons I am slowly learning from trying to teach another person about life. It has opened my eyes and helped me understand Heavenly Father's plan as I try to explain it to them. I love getting back to the basics with them. It is really so simple but we tend to complicate it in our adult minds. I have come closer to my Savior as I plead and beg constantly to help me from losing my temper one more time, throwing a toy at the wall, or just knowing how to handle situations. I am learning more about the Atonement as I fail every day yet still desire to raise these children in righteousness. I realize more and more that as long as I keep trying, it is enough. Reminds me of this Ensign article you will want to read: Because She is a Mother.
Of course on Mother's Day I think of my own mother. My appreciation for her grows with every passing day since I have become a mother. I think of her incredible example of faith and endurance through trials. I think of the things she taught me such as working hard, putting a smile on my face, having a good attitude, being enough, enjoying life, having fun as a family, being a good friend, being a kind & involved mother, putting myself out of my comfort zone, trying new hobbies, etc. etc. The list goes on and on. And I am so grateful for my grandmothers and other women that went before me and paved the way for me today. I will forever be grateful for their sacrifices.
Remember this? Things have come a long way since then. Jared surprised me with roses and a thoughtful (homemade) card with a picture of my three kiddos on the front. And that little screaming boy from my first mother's day now filled my day with hugs, kisses, back tickles, singing and a flower. I love, love, love being a mother.